What of our Rage?

 

I am not Trayvon Martin.

I am Trayvon Martin’s mother.   For I too am rearing a beautiful and brilliant little black boy, who will ultimately grow to become a productive and intelligent young man.  And as his mother, my greatest fear is not that he will be senselessly gunned down in the street by some racist, barbaric jack ass, no.  My greatest fear is that he may instead be gunned down in the street by young men who look just like him.  Gunned down by his brother over something as ridiculous as a misinterpreted feeling of disrespect.  Which causes me to raise this question, what of our rage?  What of our rage when our children’s lives are being taken daily by young men who look like them?  What of our rage about this “Stand Your Ground” law, when our children follow the unwritten law of “No Snitching”, as their standing code of conduct?  What of our marching and praying when a young brother was just shot in the face at a college party in Jackson, MS?  When five brothers were just killed in Ensley by other young black men?  When brothers are forced to disown intelligence for fear of looking weak?  When a large percentage of the current prison population is young black males?  When are we going to get outraged about these conditions black people?   When are we going to take to the street in mass about this?

Now please don’t misconstrue my opinion.  I am incensed about the fact that this young brother was ADMITTEDLY murdered, a few blocks away from his home, by a racist pig who has yet to even be arrested for the crime.  But I don’t have high expectations of a racist.  In fact, I expect a racist to have little to no respect for black life.  It’s when I look at my brother and I see that same lack of respect that my heart grows heavy, my spirit becomes weak and my soul longs for answers.  That’s when my mind beckons the question, what of our rage black people?   What of our rage?

Peace and Power.

Where are all the good single black men?

BestBlackDatingSite.org has put together a very interesting graphic that asks the question “Where are all the good single black men.  The graphic  puts into perspective how many good single black men are out there for black women based on the preference of a black woman.

Take a look at the graphic below and let us know your thoughts on this topic.

 

Via: Best Black Dating Sites

 

B.McCoy asks “If you were a member of Eddie Long’s church, what would you do?”

What do you do when your pastor falls from grace? Do you stay and support or do you leave? Do you support from afar or do you stick beside him/her?

Pray and stay?

WHAT DO YOU DO??

Watch this video and share your comments.

B.McCoy
bmccoy@urbanham.com

Join me on Facebook. Go to BMCCOY.ning.COM.

 

 

Promoters Needed!

After the April tornado ripped through Alabama it was understood that it will take some time for things to get back to normal.   Support has flooded in from all over the United States and abroad as people come to area to help out.  This weekend I meet students that have traveled the world supporting devastated areas as far as Zimbabwe.  All types of celebrities have made pit stops to witness the damage and offer their support.  Utility trucks, Uhauls and pick-up trucks loaded with supplies constantly buzz up and down the highways and interstates. It looks like the signs of support and recovery are in full bloom!

I spoke to a good friend that experienced some major destruction of his home.  Thank God that his family survived the destructive weather but now they are faced with the long road of rebuilding and getting back to some sense of normalcy.  Normal is an under statement as my friend shared with me the many things he has on his list to do to get  things back on track.   He also made a comment that I think everyone would find interesting.  “I need to just take a break and go out… have a drink and chill out.”  While I was not necessarily expecting to hear this it was not a huge shock.  I do believe you can only take in so much before you just need to break away.  Now that we are two weeks out from the storm damage I believe more and more people will have the same feelings and start looking for a temporary escape.

As thousands of supporters, workers and volunteers come to the area some mode of relaxation, social activity and entertainment will be necessary.  I encourage our local promoters, venue owners and event planners to continue to do what you do and make sure our guest and locals have plenty of choices to unwind and relax during this time of rebuilding.

School cost too damn much, let there be socialization!

After meeting with financial aid today I learned I am in $40,000.00 debt that I will have to pay back to the the United States Government (I have federal student loans) while still paying 30% of my income to the United States Government for taxes. I’m just saying school is entirely too much damn money! In my opinion we should act like a socialized society and front the cost of our citizens to obtain higher education in order to generate a more educated population whom will eventually have more means to fund our government through “raping you” taxes.

Why African American relationships are failing?

I have seen strong black families all my life and I think there are larger forces at work in the US that helps to suppress the natural love we have for one another.

1. The label “Strong” is being misused by both men & women

Men’s definition of strong is educated, having a good job, making money.

Women’s definition of strong is educated, having a good job, making money

Using the above definitions of strong,

strong men + strong women = education + good jobs + money

It does not include the elements necessary for building a strong family.

The key does not lie in the individualistic ambitions of each person.

The whole must be greater than the sum of its parts.

2. In a capitalistic society, cooperation is not encouraged unless someone is being exploited.

Businesses are built on exploitation.

Competition and competitiveness is encouraged and rewarded. this spills over into relationships.

3. Trust is non-existent even between family members.
If you can’t trust your brother or sister, how much more difficult would it be to trust someone you are dating/married to.

4. Self-sacrifice is not valued. Selfishness is rewarded.

5. Life revolves around acquiring material things. The culture dictates that the more material things you possess, the more stature you will have gained and thus become powerful.

The problem is that that kind of power is empty since it is not anchored in the true essence of who you are.

The daily struggle to maintain status causes a great deal of anxiety that also spills over into relationships and how courting occurs.

Thus the baller types stand out initially to the resentment of the average joe until women are matured and then the average joe lashes out from years of being rejected based on the materialistic model of courting.

6. The nuclear family.
This type of family arrangement is NOT compatible for the African family.
It is beneficial to members of the white race since they already have a 400 year head start as a group to afford teh luxury of surviving family breakups.

If you look at the progress of all other groups you will see a clear pattern of the extended family at work.

Hispanic parents, grandparents help to maintain discipline, sense of identity, sense of culture. Financially there is no cost to baby sitting, nursing home fees etc…
This type of family withstands divorces since there is a greater chance that another male or female role model exists in the household.

Same goes for Italian families, Asian families etc….

Black/African families are emulating a group that is declining in numbers.

What do you think ?

Police Brutality in B’ham

Police brutality is on the rise in Birmingham because I myself have been the victim of two recent assaults. This is becoming a problem because if the citizens are victims to the people expected to protect and serve, what becomes of society?

Great “Expectations”

After a paparazzi-documented courtship, a quickie marriage, the arrival of a daughter and the release of photos of The-Dream with his personal assistant (and no, she wasn’t taking dictation), Christina Milian and her husband have called it quits.

It’s not for me to debate the merits of their union or speculate on what went wrong (other than the obvious). What goes on in a couple’s home, away from the prying eyes of the public, should be private, even for well-known figures and celebrities. So I’m not going to comment on the very public photos that surfaced, or Christina’s Tweets. You can read about that elsewhere.

What caught my attention were the troubling comments The-Dream made to Essence magazine about his idea of marriage and fatherhood a few short weeks ago, which then resurfaced in People on the heels of their split:

“I don’t because my “helping out” turns into expectations. I’ll get Violet [the couple's baby] on a late night maybe one or two times, but after that, no. If Christina’s tired, call the nanny, call Violet’s granny. We got people.”

There are other comments in the Essence piece that are tasteless, but for the purposes of this commentary my question is: how does one “help out” where his own child is concerned? And doesn’t fatherhood come with a diaperload of built-in and totally justified expectations, such as that the care and feeding of an infant are to be on the shoulders of its parents? I can’t figure out if Terius Nash’s comments reflect immaturity, cluelessness, or the airy disregard of someone with enough new money to cast the rearing of his offspring to paid employees. Or something more troubling: another example of a black man (this time with resources) who refuses to accept the heavy mantle of fatherhood, not just paternity.

There are plenty of fathers out there who – thankfully -are not of the same mind as The-Dream, and are going above and beyond supporting their families.  And our communities have traditionally relied on a network of support to raise its village of children. Big Mamas, Madeas, Paw Paws, uncles, favorite Tees, godparents and the like have pitched in to pick up the slack across generations, or even to provide another childcare option for parents whose pockets are stretched thin or who distrust having strangers watch their kids. But what’s disappointing is the self-proclaimed Love King’s apparent feeling that his responsibility for the nitty gritty, everyday work of parenting as a father is not a given. That his occasional pinch-hitting will mean he needs to appear on the team roster regularly.

Guess what? That’s exactly what fatherhood means: showing (and stepping) up. The-Dream’s ill-advised words are yet another a cautionary tale for women: a beautiful dream can easily turn into a horrible nightmare when you hook up with someone who is either unprepared or unwilling to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood. We (yes, I’m including myself) have to choose our mates with care.

Children in every economic circumstance need their fathers. They need their fathers to kiss scraped knees, to teach them to ride bikes, to read with and to them. They need their fathers to look for the Boogie Man under the bed and to show up at PTA meetings. Boys need their Pops to show them how to be good men, and girls need their Daddies to show them what type of man they should choose as grown women (or what type to totally avoid). As great a job as mothers can do and have done alone, children still need their fathers’ active, engaged presence.

I’m sure Barack Obama “got people.” I wonder if he tells Michelle that. I know most certainly my father never fixed his mouth to tell my mom anything close, even when he was dog tired from working the graveyard shift at the paper mill.

I don’t want to demonize or bash The-Dream. He’s got enough problems of his own. To be fair, he’s making sure little Violet’s college expenses are covered. But it’s going to take way more than that to help her become a confident, resourceful woman.

Oh, I forgot: [they] got people.

Seattle police officer punches teen; the African American response

The Seattle police officer that punched a 17-year old African American girl during a street altercation has gotten little reaction from the African American community. Much of the opinion is in favor of the officer just “doing his job.” This response leads me to ask this question; Have we lost our consciousness as African Americans? Do we still know who we are and where we stand as people in the United States? Watch the video below and comment how you feel about this situation.

Seattle Police Altercation Excessive ? I dont think so..

I’m sure we all have seen the infamous punch video of a 17 year old girl by a Seattle Police Officer that has (as usual) resulted in calls of racism, police brutality etc. In a lot of cases the charge of police brutality is true however, my analysis of this video does not show police brutality at all.

What this video shows me is the overly aggressive nature of our youth today. First off you have one woman who the Officer is trying to restrain who is violently resisting  and my question is FOR WHAT ?? what did she think was going to happen ? Did she think he was going to give up ? Did she think that she was going to win ?  I have never seen a case where the Police where in a physical altercation with anyone and they just gave up.

Secondly, while the Officer was trying to restrain one young lady, her friend attempts to attack and push the Officer away. While I do have empathy and understand her motive but what did she think was going to happen ? This was not some school yard brawl where your friend can jump in and get the attacker off of you. I don’t agree with physically assaulting women in any manner but, at that moment she was a THREAT to the Officer and interfering with his duties.

In my opinion this is a perfect example of the aggressive mindset of our youth. The Black Panthers of the 60′s taught us we MUST know the LAW and react accordingly. We must again teach our youth how to interact with law enforcement because right now we are giving them justification to complete the conversion from an open society to a POLICE STATE !

Below is the video , let me know your thoughts.

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