Great “Expectations”

After a paparazzi-documented courtship, a quickie marriage, the arrival of a daughter and the release of photos of The-Dream with his personal assistant (and no, she wasn’t taking dictation), Christina Milian and her husband have called it quits.

It’s not for me to debate the merits of their union or speculate on what went wrong (other than the obvious). What goes on in a couple’s home, away from the prying eyes of the public, should be private, even for well-known figures and celebrities. So I’m not going to comment on the very public photos that surfaced, or Christina’s Tweets. You can read about that elsewhere.

What caught my attention were the troubling comments The-Dream made to Essence magazine about his idea of marriage and fatherhood a few short weeks ago, which then resurfaced in People on the heels of their split:

“I don’t because my “helping out” turns into expectations. I’ll get Violet [the couple's baby] on a late night maybe one or two times, but after that, no. If Christina’s tired, call the nanny, call Violet’s granny. We got people.”

There are other comments in the Essence piece that are tasteless, but for the purposes of this commentary my question is: how does one “help out” where his own child is concerned? And doesn’t fatherhood come with a diaperload of built-in and totally justified expectations, such as that the care and feeding of an infant are to be on the shoulders of its parents? I can’t figure out if Terius Nash’s comments reflect immaturity, cluelessness, or the airy disregard of someone with enough new money to cast the rearing of his offspring to paid employees. Or something more troubling: another example of a black man (this time with resources) who refuses to accept the heavy mantle of fatherhood, not just paternity.

There are plenty of fathers out there who - thankfully -are not of the same mind as The-Dream, and are going above and beyond supporting their families.  And our communities have traditionally relied on a network of support to raise its village of children. Big Mamas, Madeas, Paw Paws, uncles, favorite Tees, godparents and the like have pitched in to pick up the slack across generations, or even to provide another childcare option for parents whose pockets are stretched thin or who distrust having strangers watch their kids. But what’s disappointing is the self-proclaimed Love King’s apparent feeling that his responsibility for the nitty gritty, everyday work of parenting as a father is not a given. That his occasional pinch-hitting will mean he needs to appear on the team roster regularly.

Guess what? That’s exactly what fatherhood means: showing (and stepping) up. The-Dream’s ill-advised words are yet another a cautionary tale for women: a beautiful dream can easily turn into a horrible nightmare when you hook up with someone who is either unprepared or unwilling to shoulder the responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood. We (yes, I’m including myself) have to choose our mates with care.

Children in every economic circumstance need their fathers. They need their fathers to kiss scraped knees, to teach them to ride bikes, to read with and to them. They need their fathers to look for the Boogie Man under the bed and to show up at PTA meetings. Boys need their Pops to show them how to be good men, and girls need their Daddies to show them what type of man they should choose as grown women (or what type to totally avoid). As great a job as mothers can do and have done alone, children still need their fathers’ active, engaged presence.

I’m sure Barack Obama “got people.” I wonder if he tells Michelle that. I know most certainly my father never fixed his mouth to tell my mom anything close, even when he was dog tired from working the graveyard shift at the paper mill.

I don’t want to demonize or bash The-Dream. He’s got enough problems of his own. To be fair, he’s making sure little Violet’s college expenses are covered. But it’s going to take way more than that to help her become a confident, resourceful woman.

Oh, I forgot: [they] got people.

Seattle police officer punches teen; the African American response

The Seattle police officer that punched a 17-year old African American girl during a street altercation has gotten little reaction from the African American community. Much of the opinion is in favor of the officer just “doing his job.” This response leads me to ask this question; Have we lost our consciousness as African Americans? Do we still know who we are and where we stand as people in the United States? Watch the video below and comment how you feel about this situation.

Seattle Police Altercation Excessive ? I dont think so..

I’m sure we all have seen the infamous punch video of a 17 year old girl by a Seattle Police Officer that has (as usual) resulted in calls of racism, police brutality etc. In a lot of cases the charge of police brutality is true however, my analysis of this video does not show police brutality at all.

What this video shows me is the overly aggressive nature of our youth today. First off you have one woman who the Officer is trying to restrain who is violently resisting  and my question is FOR WHAT ?? what did she think was going to happen ? Did she think he was going to give up ? Did she think that she was going to win ?  I have never seen a case where the Police where in a physical altercation with anyone and they just gave up.

Secondly, while the Officer was trying to restrain one young lady, her friend attempts to attack and push the Officer away. While I do have empathy and understand her motive but what did she think was going to happen ? This was not some school yard brawl where your friend can jump in and get the attacker off of you. I don’t agree with physically assaulting women in any manner but, at that moment she was a THREAT to the Officer and interfering with his duties.

In my opinion this is a perfect example of the aggressive mindset of our youth. The Black Panthers of the 60’s taught us we MUST know the LAW and react accordingly. We must again teach our youth how to interact with law enforcement because right now we are giving them justification to complete the conversion from an open society to a POLICE STATE !

Below is the video , let me know your thoughts.

We should make it our business to leave our children a legacy.

As I watched the trailers for the upcoming movie “The Karate Kid” which stars Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan, I could not help but think of how Will and Jada Smith have set their young son up to become as successful as his heart desires.

It’s no doubt that the children born into the Smith household are set for life but it seems the underlying issue here is “Let me give you the tools you need to succeed on your own.”  No matter how “old school” this may sound it is a practice that we as parents should always put at the top of our list.

According to interviews posted on BlackCelebKids.com Jackie Chan feels that the eleven year old Jaden is hard working and very respectful.  Here are two traits that will put any young person at the top of their game be it a child star or average student in the inner city.

If the Karate Kid movie lives up to the hype and has any of the success of the previous Karate Kid movies we could see Jaden locked into this role for the next five or six years which could deliver two more movies before his 18th birthday.  Don’t be surprised if you also find Jaden at the top of the movie game before he turns 20 taking on many of the action roles his father was rumored to participate in but never materialized.

As parents we have to make it our business to leave our children with the tools they need to build or continue a legacy.  While trust funds and property offer a great start the most important assets involve simply teaching our young people how to respect others and how to provide for themselves.  You can never go wrong by promoting hard work, dedication and respect towards everyone to your children.

Sources: BlackCelebKids.com

Can Artur Davis still win the election after voting ‘no’ for healthcare reform?

Artur Davis voted ‘no’ on healthcare reform legislation that President Obama initiated to gain conservative voter support in the Alabama governor’s election. Can he still win Democrat Party votes in the primary election after straying from the Democrats’ platform of healthcare reform? Check this video out and comment with your thoughts.

Police Looking For Louisiana Man Who Has Been Knowingly Spreading HIV To Women For Almost FIFTEEN YEARS!!!

Shreveport Police are looking for a man they say may have knowingly spread the HIV virus to an unknown number of people.

Detectives have an arrest warrant out for 36-year-old Quacy L. Francis for knowingly exposing people to the HIV virus. Police say his potential victims could date back as far as 1996.

Shreveport Detectives want anyone who may have been exposed or knows someone who may have been exposed to Francis to contact the detectives office at 673-6955.

Quacy Francis has gone by several alias throughout the years including: Quacy Frances, Lekelvin Francis, Quacie Francis, Terry Johnson, Dion Scott, and Eric Scott.

Anyone who contacts the police regarding their possible exposure, should rest assured that the police department will protect their confidentially and are only seeking information to aid in the prosecution of Francis.

 

-They should add “BURN ALIVE” to the dealth penalty options……All in favor say I !!!!!!!

Raise up a child in the way she should go…That’s what they do!

Do white mothers teach their daughters how to spot future success?

I have close friends of all races and we sometimes meet up for our usual Satuday evening flying cocktails session (this is where the bar gets stocked and drinks flow freely throughout the night). And most of the time this leads to some very engaging & thought provoking conversation.

If you notice, a lot of our successful black men are now only dating & marrying white women? If you dig deep into the women backgrounds they arent all women who grew up rich, with a silver spoon, etc….their mother just “put them on game”.  Example: We (black women) when we’re young we tend to date who we like, while white girls tend to hook up with 1. The star athelete 2. The nerd (future neurosurgeon) 3. The mayors son.

As the cocktails are guzzled down, I have learned that a lot of white mothers train their daughters to spot future success. No matter what color, shade or creed. They teach them to date with their future in mind.  Have you ever thought about these now millionaire black athletes who’s now dating Becky…Do you think Becky’s parents would have let her date him when he was Mook Mook from the projects? Hell no. But why is it that our african american men dont see this? Anyway, that’s another topic.

Back to the original topic…..

Should African American mothers focus more on teaching our young ladies how to spot the boy who seems to be headed down the right path? Same for mothers on young boys. We tend to focus more on telling our kids to go to school & get an education but now how to (attempt) to pick the perfect mate, but want to judge when they bring someone one we don’t approve of.

Thoughts please?

Just an idea! Give Legion Field to Birmingham’s student athletes

Is it me or does the city of Birmingham continue to lose top athletes to other school districts?  It’s pretty obvious that parents and students feel they have a better opportunity elsewhere?   This opportunity can be summed up in coaching experience, relationships, facilities, tougher talent, community support and ultimately the opportunity to play sports after high school…. meaning scholarships.  I realize this is nothing new but my point is if there is knowledge of  this annual “student-athlete flight” shouldn’t there be some sort of plan in place by now to help remedy this problem and make Birmingham City Schools athletic programs more attractive?

In my opinion high school sports should be all about getting to the next level in life.  This is not just about playing sports in college or on the professional level but learning valuable life lessons that can carry you through just about any situation.   Understanding what it means to be a part of a team and working with others to achieve a goal is pretty much the foundation of any working adults life.  Students that participate in good athletic programs by coaches that teach not only the sport but valuable life skills always seem to come out with some sense of pride and a certain level of achievement.    It has become very shocking to see how athletic budgets are being cut from city schools and a brewing lack of sensitivity towards extra-circular activity.  Now I realize there are some great success stories out there and some really good coaches but the concern here is that the scale seems to be very unbalanced.  Let’s face it.  Coaches at inner city schools face nontraditional challenges.   They are dealing with students that may come from single family homes so the coach and his/her staff must become role models and father figures.  Trained to not only teach but give valuable life advice and compassion to their student athletes.  Secondly they are faced with the ever shrinking budget.  There is not much money for salaries, facilities, uniforms and other accessories needed to provide a decent sports program.  Finally the community and parent support may be a little sluggish and non-existent. Getting local businesses to sponsor teams is a challenge no matter where you live but proves to be even tougher in inner city schools where many of the businesses have relocated to the suburbs.   I know there are some great sports programs within the city of Birmingham and several athletes being sought by some pretty big college programs so it’s obvious that all is not lost.  However, just consider how much better these student athletes would be with state of the art facilities, top notch coaching staffs and the type of community support that garners it’s own reality show.

So with all of that said lets get to this grand idea!

Let’s create some opportunity and give Legion Field to Birmingham’s student athletes. As a graduate of West End High School (R.I.P.) I spent many years participating in the band…. that’s right first chair sax!  It was always exciting to visit Legion field and even more exciting to perform there.  It seemed larger than life and the crowds were always supportive.  Legion Field was 100 percent better than the practice field and I am sure our current athletes, bands and students have a similar feeling.

So consider this as an opportunity for Birmingham City Schools and the city of Birmingham to work together and invest in Birmingham’s student athletes.   Right now the biggest thing going at Legion Field would be UAB Football, the Battle of Bands, the Magic City Classic and the PapaJohns .com Bowl. Out of these events the Magic City Classic is the only one that comes close to filling the stadium to capacity.    Occasional opportunities for sports and concerts may find there way to Legion Field from time to time but the excitement generated from these events are temporary at most.  It’s time for some activity that keeps the community excited all year-round.

Now consider this.  Legion Field, either renovated or totally rebuilt (which ever is the most cost effective) as a multi-use sports complex for Birmingham’s student athletes.  From this point on lets just call it the Legion Field Sports Complex.   I really think former Mayor Langford was on to something with the Fair Park Renovation which could soon become an attraction for swimmers and track and field athletes all over the state.  There is no doubt that this is a huge step towards some permanent economic development for Birmingham’s west side if all goes well.  So with this Legion Field Sports Complex we give Birmingham’s student athletes the same opportunity for success that many over the mountain and rural programs have.  Lets talk about a state-of-the-art facility that features all of the bells and whistles and an opportunity to create an environment that will give all of the student athletes, student body and the community at large a sense of ownership in one great facility that is worth bragging on.

What’s in the new Legion Field Sports Complex?

• The complex would of course be anchored with the football field which would offer the best in seating, lighting, video displays, concession and other amenities.

• Locker rooms for each team - Hey why not? Legion Field is huge and can certainly house space for each team and the staff.  Right now there are only seven schools with Ramsey being the only high school without a football team at the moment. How nice would it be to have locker rooms for each team with team colors, mascots, previous team pictures and other elements to make these students feel at home.

• Next consider a massive joint work-out area with top notch exercise and rehabilitation equipment.  This would be a shared resource for the student athletes and offer opportunities to network while working out.  Student athletes no matter the sport they play will have access to the facility and access to some of the best training and work-out equipment in the state.  In fact pursue some health related grant money and open the work out facility up to all students within the school system. 
  

• Office and Administrative area with space for administrators, school liaisons, sports doctors and facilities management. Throw in class and training rooms that can facilitate seminars and training opportunities that prepare student athletes for life after high school.  This becomes a perfect environment for tutoring and mentoring sessions as well as a permanent location for coaches on all levels to gain resources, training and general experience before taking on the important role as a coach.

• A health and medical wing for out-patient orthopedics, physicals, counseling and check-ups.  This could also be a great opportunity for revenue or sponsorships from some of the areas top doctors and medical facilities.

• A large  multi-use room for “all team” meetings, conferences and banquets.  This room could also serve as a  rental venue designed to hold 500 or more.  Divided into smaller sections you could have more rental rooms for smaller events.

• Parking is a must. There needs to be plenty of parking with lights and noticeable green space for tailgating and picnics.  Development of recreational areas outside of the field such as playgrounds, basketball and soccer fields could become a huge asset to the complex.

• Perimeter development will be the cornerstone of this project.  Seeking out national food chains, local businesses and even a few hotels could offer some much needed change to the general area as well as a huge economic impact to the City of Birmingham.

• Now lets talk security. The perception of Birmingham not being a safe city has probably done more damage than anyone could imagine.  Despite the efforts of Chief Roper and the wonderful staff in blue the perception of crime in Birmingham has driven out both black and white citizens so there is a need to really step up the efforts to show the city in a new light.  A Legion Field Sports Complex Police Branch would be a create fit for this facility. Give the officers access to use the work out facility and encourage them to be participate in the centers activities. Police officers could serve as great mentors to many of these student athletes making their presence even more valuable.

Branding & Marketing becomes a very important item in the overall plan.  Successfully marketing the venue to  secure long-term tenants, sponsors, patrons, students and out of town guest should be a top concern.  

• Develop a crest or logo that has the permanent markings of the high school mascots from the Birmingham City High Schools.

• Sponsorships become a much easier challenge. Instead of different groups representing each school or team potential sponsors now have a collective opportunity for sponsors to reap the most rewards from the money they spend.   What business would not jump at the thought of reaching hundreds of thousands of potential clients each year through signage, digital displays and the many other promotional opportunities that will surface with such a complex.

• Reach out to the experts.  Again, this is where partnerships and people playing nice needs to come into play.  The City, County and School Board certainly need to be at the table with a willing attitude.  Successful event managers like The Bruno’s Event Team, Silverstone International and a few other sports related agencies could play a huge role in promoting the facility to local businesses, the community and potential patrons to fill the stadium seats.

Transportation: Let’s not stop with just the nice facility but a nice transportation system which could be housed at Legion Field.  This system would feature state-of -the-art buses decorated with the combined crest or logo and digital displays to indicate the team that is being transported.  Seek support from the BJCTA or again, local sponsors and alumni.  With only seven high schools in the system there could be a customized bus for each school.

Filling the seats: Finally once everything is in place the issue of filling the stadium seats will be at hand.  This is certainly a marketing issue which needs to employ some very good minds with a challenging problem but of course I have some suggestions!

• The Birmingham Football Classic.  This is a pre-season event designed to generate excitement among the city’s football programs. This is an opportunity to see the high school teams in action before the regular season.

• All Star Football Classic is a post season event that pits the best representatives from each school against all-stars from another city or state.

• Alumni seating and team sections could provide a great opportunity to increase the synergy and support from Alumni which could lead to more tickets or even season passes.   Even those alumni that have moved out of the area maybe more interested in supporting or even giving to an effort that offers such a great opportunity for student athletes and the community.

• The Battle of the Bands will continue to grow and despite the negative press is a great event as far as I am concerned.  Having high school students network with college students is a great thing that could help many of these young people decide what it is they want to do after high school.  Now I realize there have been problems in the past but I think the organizers have the best interest of the city in mind.  A little more support from the community and I think this event could bring people in from all over the state and eventually turn into a mega college fair showcasing not only the bands but great academic programs at a number of HBCUs.

What about UAB? Since most UAB games are played on a Saturday this could continue to be the home of the Blazers.  UAB becomes a fourth and vested partner in the facility with the City of Birmingham, County and the Birmingham School Board.  The ability to have access to top student athletes as well as students in general becomes a huge part of UAB’s goal to grow the college and support the local schools district.

Sure this idea is expensive and maybe a little far fetched but the way I see it is that this is simply an investment in Birmingham’s youth.   Please feel free to share this idea with anyone that has the will to pursue it, the charisma to get it done and the integrity to not get greedy.

Downtown Mall vs Dome

I was talking to a friend that has been pretty active in purchasing what he calls “cheap” property around the city.  We started talking about city development and economic development opportunities and he suggested that the dome was not the best idea but a large downtown mall would be the ticket.

I am all for economic development and seeing something happen in Downtown Birmingham that could help change the dynamics of the city and give the citizens something to be excited about. You know, the kind of excitement a professional team brings to an area.  If a dome will do it then I am certainly for it!

With the dome we do have a few challenges and questions however.  First of all John Rogers who has been a long time advocate of the dome is suggesting now may not be the time to build it.  The questions continue to come up from economist, community leaders and citizens of what will we put in the dome?  Will there be enough support for the dome to make it a thriving entity in the city or will it need constant funding from the city.  Unfortunately no one really knows the answer to these questions.  It’s all based on hope and faith which in my world is often all I had to go on.

So this bring us to the discussion of a downtown mall.  Hmmm….. this may just be an easier program to sell to a community that can be a little picky on what it supports.   There is no doubt that we like to shop and eat out in Alabama.  A mega  mall is nothing more than a tourist attraction and we know this based on the success of the Riverchase Galleria.  I say success because before Two-A-Days (Hoover High School), Ross Bridges and all of the other “nice things” we find in the city of Hoover it seems all of this success was anchored by the Galleria.   Now don’t get me wrong.  I know the Galleria had it’s rough years and also faces declining support due to the economy. I am sure this decline is short term and we will see more growth around the Galleria in years to come.  I can remember friends and family living outside of the city, even the state planning to visit the area just to go to the mall.  This type of excitement gets pretty close to the excitement of having a pro sports team.  Maybe a more appealing thought to teenagers and retirees but still an excitement generator.

The construction for the dome is already moving forward and I would hate to see things come to a halt unless there was a “fail-proof” plan on the table.  These days that is just not likely to happen so lets start looking for that pro team!

Is the Lil’ Monkey doll offensive or an honest mistake?

There has been a growing amount of Internet chatter about an African American doll called Lil’ Monkey.  Costco has been pulling thousands of these dolls off the shelf and the creator of the doll, Brass Key, has issued an apology.

The doll sports a cap with the words Lil’ Monkey as well as monkey accessories, a monkey doll and a banana.

When this type of thing happens it is always hard to put your finger on the actual intent.  Since money is the motivation for products and services I would find it hard to believe the creator of this doll intended to have the product pulled and ultimately lose money.  In fact it is more obvious to me that this could be a good example of a company that may lack a diverse staff of decision making executives.  I don’t believe an African American marketing executive or consultant would have given the thumbs up on this doll without letting the company know the possibility of negative press.

Brass Key has other dolls packaged with a “Pretty Panda” featuring African American, Latino and Caucasian dolls.  Packaging an African American doll with the Lil’ Monkey title and accessories is one of those sensitive issues that I do believe an African American executive or decision maker would have flagged as a potential problem.  While many companies push the fact that they have a diverse staff you find that very few if any have African Americans or Latinos within the ranks of executive level leadership.

So the bigger problem in my opinion is not that the doll was produced and put on the shelves but what will it take to get a more diverse staff of decision makers in board rooms around the country to help curb some of these issues?

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